By: Pink Angel
I am a 20 year old female from a country in the Gulf. My journey of discovery began when I was 18 and a 1/2. I used to be very religious, extremely fanatic about Islam, even hating Jews to the core. I was someone whom if I looked at Today, I would be disgusted from. This all changed when I first took my philosophy class. I was the youngest in the class, the rest were all seniors and I amazed my professor with my ability to question and criticize dogmatic beliefs that I’ve been induced to believe since I hit puberty, perhaps before.
I began to question. I began to open my eyes slowly. But, before I finally freed myself from these prisoning beliefs, I had a very hard time. I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t eat, I thought I was doing something very haram. I thought I purchased a straight- path ticket to hell. It was very hard and difficult for me. More so with my age.
I came up with this conclusion. That Islam is not faith. Islam is an organized religion. An ages-old institution that has become so deeply rooted in our daily lives that we dare not question that institution. We took many things for granted. A certain man called Mohammed, whom I used to love very deeply, is this perfect, infallible, unimpeachable man. The Koran is this unquestioning source of true authority, the authority of “Allah”. Really? My belief is that the Koran was written by people, namely, men. Its tone is weirdly and coincidently patriarchal, genocidal, always inviting people to avenge and revenge, and contains some, if not many misogynistic verses. I really do not know what to say. There are a lot of words that I would like to tell people who might read faithfreedom, but sometimes, experiences, especially life-changing ones cannot be written in a single e-mail, perhaps not in a million e-mails. It is something so strong. So strong that you get destroyed when you find out that 18 years of your life has been based on a big lie. You have to get destroyed before you finally feel free. And I feel free today. I don’t have to believe in stupid and foolish beliefs like Satan, Angels, heaven and hell. I believed them so long.
Lastly, I would like to say that Islam is not a religion of peace. Take these words from an ex-Muslim who used to be an avid Muslim. Islam and Muslims are trying to put on a facade of peace. But deep down, it is a hateful religion. Just like Christianity. Didn’t Christians burn heretics at the stake? Don’t they believe that they are the chosen people of God, like the Jews? Well the same goes to Muslims. They believe they are god’s chosen people. They feel that anybody who doesn’t convert to their religion, or die a “kaffir” is going straight to hell. It’s just the same ‘ole game that the Three Abrahamic religions have been playing. They all play the same tune.
Today I am a secular humanist, a freethinker. I don’t drink, I don’t have pre-marital sex, I am quite conservative, but not in the Islamic way. I just like to be a clean person who is not religious. A person who questions and thinks critically. Its hard being me, because I am in a society where foolish beliefs are the norm, but I’d rather be me than be a religious person. That is final.